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Which of the following situations send you over the edge? You ask your child to do something three times and he is still not listening. Your four year old is having a complete melt down over something you see as insignificant. You've had a long day and your teenager won't stop arguing with you. As moms, we all have a patience meter. The gauge goes up and down depending on our mood, our personality, and our triggers. If there is one thing that moms wish they had more of, its patience (and time, of course). Just like there are time management skills you can learn, there are also patience management skills.
Examine Your Expectations
I know I am stating the obvious, but children are not adults. They don't think like adults, act like adults or even have the same brain development as adults. As a matter of fact, their brains are not fully developed until about the age of 23. The last part of the brain to develop is the part that is involved in rational decision making.
So it makes sense that the expectations we have of our children needs to be age appropriate and situation appropriate. To expect a child to always remember his homework or other items that belong to him is unrealistic. Many adults have a problem with forgetting things. If you know a two year old and a teenager's main focus is asserting their independence, then it can be helpful to put tantrums and strong wills into perspective. Sometimes we lose our patience because we are expecting our children to behave in a way they are simply not capable of. Take time to examine the situation and try to put yourself in your child's shoes. How might she be feeling? What is important to your child in the moment? How might her perspective be different than yours?
Don't Take Things Personally
Kids are like us; imperfect. And they are going to do things that are seemingly directed right at us. Your child might stare you down and defiantly say "NO". He might not listen to your words of wisdom because he would rather do things his own way. Your daughter might even get pregnant, even though she knows how much it will hurt you. Some of a child's misbehavior may be intentional and some may be unintentional, but none of it is personal.
As soon as we become personally attached to our children's behavior, we begin using their behavior as a measurement of our adequacy as a mom. If they behave nicely, we are a great mom. If our children misbehave, we have somehow failed. These feelings of failure evoke an emotional reaction in us that can cause us to lose our patience. Instead of being emotionally involved in child misbehavior, practice being a curious observer. It's a great opportunity to learn more about your child as well as yourself. Your child may need to learn some new skills and you may need to look at changing some of your own behaviors. We are all creatures of habit and we're all learning how to master life. Taking child misbehavior personally will not serve you in finding a solution to the problem.
Adjust Your Parenting Style
I don't believe there is a one size fits all style of parenting. Every child and every situation is different and learning to be flexible and open to what is working and what is not can make a world of difference in managing our patience. For instance, if you have a strong willed child, an authoritarian style of parenting is probably not going to be very effective. Being overly strict and controlling with a strong willed child will create more power struggles than your patience will be able to handle. That style of parenting, however, may work with a passive child.
Just like every child has a different personality, each situation needs to be treated independently. If you are in the middle of a situation that is escalating, examine your approach. Is what you are doing right now helping or hindering the situation? Be willing to adjust your approach to help the situation diffuse. There are always alternative solutions to losing our patience.
Develop a Consistent Discipline Strategy
Most of the time when we lose our patience, it's because we have waited too long to discipline our children. If we think about the child behaviors that grate on our nerves, we usually think of behaviors such as whining, tantrums, arguing, not listening, and disrespectful talking. All of these and more are behaviors that need a consistent discipline strategy.
If you know your child has an issue with arguing, after examining your own tendency to argue, put a plan in place to handle this issue every time it comes up. For instance, if your child begins arguing with you, you patiently remind her that arguing is not allowed and if she continues she will be sent to her room. If she continues, send her to her room. If you do this consistently, she will eventually learn what the boundaries are. By being proactive and addressing the misbehavior immediately, you save yourself from the regret you feel when you lose your patience.
Take a Mommy Timeout
Even moms can use a timeout. There are two ways to take advantage of this strategy. First, take a timeout in the middle of an emotionally charged situation. It is okay to walk away if you are beginning to lose your patience. You might think your child is winning the battle if you walk away, but the opposite is true. Your child wins the battle when you lose control of your emotions. Some battles are not worth fighting and some battles need a timeout. You can always go back when you are composed.
The second way to use timeout is to take regular time for you to engage in self-care. More often than not, moms lose their patience when they are tired and worn down. Know your limits and when it's time to take a mommy timeout. Go for a walk, have lunch with an inspiring friend, spend time in prayer/meditation or laugh yourself silly in a funny movie. Do whatever refuels and refreshes you. You will then return to motherhood with a whole new outlook and a healthy reserve of patience.
Patience is not something we are born with. It's a skill that is developed with time and practice. With the right approach and the right attitude, we can all learn patience. What is the hidden gift of learning to be more patient? Our children model our behavior.
Diaper Dude is more than a diaper bag company, it's a movement created by Chris Pegula after the birth of his first child. The original dad bag which was born out of the idea that fatherhood doesn’t have to be complicated or un-cool, has expanded beyond the stylish diaper bags for dads (and moms too) and now includes the Digi Dude. Made of recycled PET material (plastic water bottles) rewoven into durable polyester, this hip and cool bag contains lots of handy features for people on-the-go including a heavily padded laptop pocket for easy access, breathable mesh padded back panel for extra comfort, 3 magnetic pockets underneath the flap for all your computer accessories and interior CD/DVD sleeves, pen loops and key clip.
Women in the past who have shopped for plus size clothes knew the styles and selections could be less than desirable. Women who are plus sizes want to try different trends and styles but they are disappointed to discover certain trends and styles don't come in their sizes. The same can be said for maternity clothes. Fortunately for plus size pregnant women this trend is changing. There are many more style options today than in the past. With so many options it can be confusing for women to know whether they should buy plus size maternity clothes or not. The following is a guide for plus size maternity clothes and the differences between them and straight size clothing.
Plus maternity clothes are usually clothing that starts at a 14W and goes up from there. They can also be referred to as "women's maternity clothes" which can be very confusing because all maternity clothes are for women right? Most commonly, plus pregnancy clothes are looser fitting particularly in the areas of the breasts and arms. Many companies make both plus size and straight size clothing but that doesn't necessarily mean they make the same fashions, styles, and cut in both plus and straight. Some companies do not make a plus size in their maternity lines and others only make plus in their maternity lines. So if you are looking for a specific brand or style make sure that particular line comes in plus.
Straight sizes are what people commonly refer to as "regular" sizes. These sizes would start at a size zero and count by twos up to a size fourteen. Many people in the fashion industry today have quit referring to these sizes as "regular" sizes because there is a negative connotation attached to women who do not fit in these sizes as being irregular. This definitely should not apply to plus size women or plus size pregnant women who make up roughly 40% of the female population.
Plus size do fit much differently than straight size or extended size maternity clothes of similar sizes. Straight sizes are usually based on a model who is a four or six and the clothing is graded up or down based on that model's proportions. Plus pregnancy clothes use a sixteen or eighteen model and grade the clothes up or down based on that model's proportions and these two models have very different bust, hip, and waist proportions and ratios from one another, creating the difference in not only size, but also in the fit of plus size maternity clothes.
As frustrating as it may be there is no standardization when it comes to women's maternity sizes. Each store, each designer, and each style could all list the same size, but still fit the same person completely differently. Make sure when you are buying plus maternity clothes you try the clothing on to determine what does and does not work for you.
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Angelina Jolie is definitely the most famous mother today. As the mother of six children, including twin newborns, she absolutely has her hands full. That is why she has been seen toting the effortlessly charming Storksak Gigi Diaper Bag all around Paris. This diaper bag (which you would never know by looking at it) is simply gorgeous and when your baby is grown, could easily pass for a stylish over sized purse.
This diaper bag comes in a durable design that will outlast all of your much-needed outings with baby in tow. The exterior is made in a yummy chocolate hue from nylon satin materials. The bag's trimmings are featured in beautiful tan leather that also includes reinforced bottom corners that gives the bag a classic feel. The tan leather is also a beautiful contrast with the bag's deep chocolate brown exterior. The bag is fastened together with a center zipper that allows it to open like a vanity, making everything easy to see and easy to access.
Pros: This bag is perfect for the eagerly organized. The bag's interior comes with multiple compartments that can hold all of your baby's goodies like diapers, bottles, nappies and blankets. And just in case a bottle leaks, the entire interior is made with an easy to clean material so you can simply wipe away any mess. Multiple compartments even pop out for those days you find yourself carrying larger items like stuffed animals and toys. At the bottom of the bag is a neatly stored padded diaper changing pad that perfectly matches the bag's overall design. If you are a busy working mom, then your bag can double up for baby and your needs. You can easily stow your cell phone, keys, laptop, and makeup. It even comes with a mirror!
Cons: This bag will inevitably become heavy. With all the tantalizing compartments, it becomes easier than ever to over indulge on your packing for the day, or even for a short trip. All of this over packing with small and large items adds up and is a lot to ask your shoulder to carry. Be sure to take advantage of the adjustable straps to find a comfortable setting for your body. And remember to switch shoulders often.
Overall, the Storksak Chocolate Gigi Diaper Bag is the perfect fit for any mom looking for something polished and refined. The bag will long outlast your child's early years, and you just may find yourself using it for work, play, or for an overnight getaway.
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